"It is my joy to say, Your will, Your way" These words, from a song we sang at church on Sunday, were so convicting for me. If you know me well, you know that I LOVE being a mom and have been eager for a second child for quite some time now. The infertility that we are facing came as quite a surprise after having no difficulty the first time around. There is nothing identifiably wrong with Dewey or myself, yet we find ourselves hitting the year mark of when we first decided we were ready for baby #2. It has been a sad struggle as I fight disappointment in monthly negative tests and then beat myself up about being frustrated that things are not going according to MY schedule. We have done 6 months of fertility treatments to assist in super ovulation (sounds frightening, right??), but the Lord has continued to say, "Not yet.". So we are taking a little break as it has been emotionally consuming.
I am working hard at not only accepting the Lord's will for a growing family, but taking joy in knowing that He has a perfect plan that I cannot even imagine at this point. We are trying to cherish this sweet time that we have with our little love as a family of three, because we have faith that the Lord knows and deeply cares about the desires of our hearts and will somday/somehow bless us with another (or many more!) children.
On a completely different note, I promised a one month update on school. Well, one month fell on our wedding anniversary, and L must have known that it was time to turn the corner. She went from crying everyday and telling me she made sad choices to kissing me goodbye and waving on 8/9/12. There has been no looking back. Everyday when we pull into the parking lot she yells, "There's my school! Lofton has fun! Lofton doesn't cry!" She is happy and smiling when I pick her up and her teachers say that she is a completely different child. Praise the Lord.
Below is a pic from the last day of ballet (we may have flunked out...). We'll take a year off and try that again at age 3. There are also a couple of pictures after happy days at school!